Kerry's Korner


Is it really in our heads???
July 5, 2007, 10:10 PM
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The prelude to this discussion are these posts/comments from another blog for a PW not too far away from me – she is actually the PW at my sister’s home church….

Amy’s original post
A response to that post
In response to Amy’s response

OK… now, I know the “throw the bad ones back” comment can sound harsh to some, personally I thought it was funny. Now, like most things that are funny on the surface there are so many layers to that comment… Right now, I’m not getting into them… At bottom I’d just say, no one, not myself, none of the others who commented and not Amy are advocating that we should forget about anyone and just wish them into hell… not the point at all.

What I wanted to address is in comment #2 by CP (I don’t know her, no clue who she is…). She said:
“For goodness sake, let’s all take a more simpler, organic approach to being the wife of a pastor. I get the feeling that, in her attempt to be “not the typical Pastors wife” that Amy, and so many other wives of pastors, have actually in some way built up this PW thing to be bigger than it is…

Wow…. that is a loaded statement… I know 200+ women who would strongly disagree with it. Now, if you know me – you know I’m very normal. If you don’t know me – well, ask any of my brothers 😛 My kids are very normal. So is my husband. We have tempers that we try to control, our kids fight, we love, we get ticked off, sometimes we work too hard, sometimes we are lazy, our kids are thoughtful and caring and then sometimes they are total brats… It is called being human, not one of us is immune.

Back to CP’s statement…

Since it is an extreme statement, I’m going to give an extreme response… what kind of culture of perfection leaves a woman thinking her only way out is murder? What kind of culture of perfection makes a woman think it is better for her husband and 2 young children if she disappears rather than having her husband with her through her struggles? Those are 2 of the news stories recently involving pastor’s wives.
NOTE: I am NOT saying I agree with the actions of these ladies, just that the level of expectation can leave a person not seeing a way out.

How about this… “I am not a good pastor’s wife… _____ should have never married me… I am the reason _____ has not been called to a church yet… I am ruining my husband’s life… …[50 years ago] class taught women how to be the perfect pastor’s wife and that it taught men how to chose the perfect pastor’s wife… …he wishes he had time to teach me how to be the perfect pastor’s wife because it’s too late for ________ to have not chosen me.””

This was told to someone I know this week.

Is that blowing it out of proportion? It is true – the expectations are NOT Biblical. But they ARE REAL just the same.

We have been SOOOOO blessed by the churches we have been in… our family can be normal, our kids don’t have an expectation higher than normal placed on them, I do my thing and nothing more… I am very thankful for that. However, I’ve seen others deal with the other side of things. It is not a “thing” built up bigger than it is…

What do you expect from your pastor? from his family? Is it more/different than what you expect from YOUR family? Why? The Bible is the Bible – we are all to strive to become closer to God and more like Him. Does that exclude anyone? Does it give anyone a different standard?

The standard is the same – there is only one. We each strive daily to finish the race, we will each be looked at by the same criteria and we each want to hear, “well done”.

Things to think of…



so, what did you do for the 4th?
July 5, 2007, 9:20 PM
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WE had a blast – although it was kinda wet and icky…

Dh’s aunt has a place – “camp” – by a lake not too far from here and we spent the day out there. Came back for church, came home. Dh wasn’t feeling great so he stayed home while the kids and I left to go watch fireworks!!! We went to McD’s for some supper (at 8:45 – fireworks to start at 9:15) and asked the guy there where a good spot was to watch the fireworks – he told us, we decided not to go there. We went across the river to a park right at the water and watched from there. A bunch of people walked up the walkway along the bridge over the river – I might have to do some scouting for next year 🙂

…or maybe we’ll go in the evening and spend the whole evening downtown visiting the booths and eating 🙂 I didn’t feel like doing all of that in the rain.

BUT… the fireworks were AWESOME!

Some idiot kids were setting off fireworks in the park. Set a bunch off UNDER the bridge – yup, that takes some brains… They went off, ricocheted off the bridge and shot right back down at them! Duh….

well… I think I’m tired… time to go to bed! ‘night all

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really and truly done now
July 4, 2007, 1:28 AM
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I submitted my revised paper today. I am so glad that is done! My mentor spent a good chunk of time going over it with me – like 12+ hours over the last few days. I bet he is glad it is done, too 🙂 Now I can continue with lab work – get back to it – finish up this old project and get started on a new one…

I’m home alone – probably the reason I’m on the computer at 1:40 in the morning even though I have no work needing done right away. M is spending the night at a friend’s house. J is at his grandparent’s because I wasn’t going to be home in time to get him before Tom left. Tom is at the sleep studies center having his sleep studied!

I guess I should go get some sleep. I am tired and we apparently have a full day planned for the 4th. Have I mentioned everything going on this month??? Well, let me see… 14th – take M & J to ABay to visit. M will stay for week with her friend, J will go to grandma D’s for the week; 15-20 – Tom gets new house ready to move into; 21 – MOVING DAY; 23-27 – get old house cleaned up and ready for landlord to inspect; I’m supposed to go to Boston with my mil for WOF conference on the 27/28, but I’m not sure I have the time to go; 29th may be a baby shower in Rochester for my sil; kids are going to MO the next week with my brother… I think there is more, but that is all my brain can remember right now.

OK, I’m really going this time.

ttyl

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Waiting… again
June 29, 2007, 5:57 AM
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It is way too early to be up – yet I am – and I’ve been in the lab for an hour now. I’m so tired. I have a time point growth curve I am doing, there will be at least one more. Yesterday I had 9 AM, 1 PM, 5 PM (home), 9 PM (home), 1 AM (home), 5 AM (I’m going home), and then today I follow the same pattern through 9 tonight. I just wanna sleep!

 

J has friends coming over today. Bought water pistols and balloons and those fabric toys you soak to throw. He is quite excited. M is going to the pool with her buddy.

 

Our house is CLEAN. Landlady has listed it so it is being shown on Thursdays. Means we have to keep it clean – yippee. We move 7/21. Think we can do it that long???? LOL

 

Got to go – centrifuge just stopped. Aspirate samples, weigh them, freeze them and I am GONE!

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Waiting… again
June 29, 2007, 5:57 AM
Filed under: Uncategorized

It is way too early to be up – yet I am – and I’ve been in the lab for an hour now. I’m so tired. I have a time point growth curve I am doing, there will be at least one more. Yesterday I had 9 AM, 1 PM, 5 PM (home), 9 PM (home), 1 AM (home), 5 AM (I’m going home), and then today I follow the same pattern through 9 tonight. I just wanna sleep!

 

J has friends coming over today. Bought water pistols and balloons and those fabric toys you soak to throw. He is quite excited. M is going to the pool with her buddy.

 

Our house is CLEAN. Landlady has listed it so it is being shown on Thursdays. Means we have to keep it clean – yippee. We move 7/21. Think we can do it that long???? LOL

 

Got to go – centrifuge just stopped. Aspirate samples, weigh them, freeze them and I am GONE!

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IT IS OVER!!!!
June 20, 2007, 10:42 PM
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and….

I PASSED!!!!!!!

Part II is done. I do need to redo the paper and resubmit it, but that is OK.

I cannot begin to explain to you how absolutely relieved I am.

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this is good
June 18, 2007, 10:51 PM
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You have to see/hear this one…

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