I was leisurely browsing my way through blogs this evening… a lovely, relaxing pastime – especially when a pile of work sits at your side, waiting to be finished. But for tonight – work will wait. I ended up drawn to blogs of love stories – not fiction, grossly touchy feely and mushy, but real ones. Probably a lot like yours. Definitely a lot like mine. Perhaps the fact that yesterday was our anniversary has out me in this mood, I don’t know. But in it I am, so anyone reading this will get the dubious pleasure of taking a stroll back in time… To read our story… Installment #1.
I’m a transplant – a transplant that was re-transplanted. I’m a Canadian who was raised a southern girl and the south has a hold on me – it is what I think of when I think of home. There is nothing in the world like the Appalachians – in any season. However, the re-transplant occurred when I was 17. We moved north. To New York. I was a senior in high school and was pretty sure my parents couldn’t have come up with anything worse to do to me. From the hills of Tennessee to a city on Lake Ontario. From a place where it was assumed you were a Christian and a church that had everything going for it to a city in the most un-churched county in the country and a church whose total membership was the size of my old youth group.
A family in the new church had a cottage on the lake – and they invited the youth and young adults to go for a picnic. It may have been for the 4th of July, I don’t remember. I was bored, sitting around people watching – that’s what I do when I’m bored. There was a couple sitting on a bench, she was complaining about something – and then said something about being too fat. I mentally shrugged my shoulders and thought, “well…”
Yes, not nice of me – but that was my response. Then I looked at the guy and thought, “I don’t know what he is doing with her, he could certainly do much better than that.”
I found out that guy had moved to town the same time we did – turns out he was a pretty good guy. Also turns out it he was good at chemistry and math – which was good ’cause I wasn’t. At some point through the fall this guy started coming over to my house to tutor me in math – I had to pass it, but yuck – not my thing. So he came over – and we worked, and we laughed, and we became friends. At some point after Christmas it seemed things started to shift. Joking around was edging on flirting, touching more than necessary – just brief, brushes of hands and shoulders.
One day we were sitting at the table, math books spread open and he asks, “what do you think your parents would say if I asked you out?”
I think he kind of wanted to ask them himself, but I went and asked instead. They said yes. We went to a movie and out to eat – it was February 7, 1992. He was 23, I was 17.
He took me to my senior prom.
In June he didn’t go to my highschool graduation.
In July we were still dating, but it was strange. There was definitely something off.
In August we broke up.
I still saw him at church and all the various social events that were an extension of church. After a while the friendship returned. By the next summer we were talking regularly again. One night we were sitting in the church parking lot talking about dating – how hard it was to find someone to date who was a Christian and shared the same beliefs. Shortly after that we were talking one night about a new movie, he looks at me and asks if I want to go see it. I replied that would be fine – at this point not treating it as a date, just going out.
At some point he said he wanted to talk to me after the movie. I said OK, so we went across the street for ice cream.
He looked at me and said, “you remember we were talking about how hard it is to find someone to date?”
I responded that yes, I remember.
He says, “well, I was thinking, it is hard, but it isn’t like we need to find a lot of people, just one.”
“yeah, that’s true”, I said.
“Yeah, so, I was wondering… what do you think about going out again?”
That was in August.
February 7, 1994 we went out for dinner – at the now defunct Spaghetti Warehouse. After dinner he took me back to the church (the one we met at, and by that time he was living in) – said he left something inside, so I went in with him.
He asked me to marry him. Two years to the day after our first date. He was 25, I was 19.
Nine months later we were married in that same church. 18 months after our wedding our first child was dedicated in that same church and 12 months later our second child was dedicated there.
Yesterday was our 15th anniversary.
I love you, Tom, and I’m glad I get to spend the next 15 years with you, too.
Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, ‘A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!
~Robert Browning
Filed under: random
How many “me”s are there?
Do you have that many, too?
You know, there is…
me – the mom – who has to have the answers, never lose her temper, not care that my kids feelings and wants are automatically ahead of mine (not something I mind in the grand scheme of things, but there are days…), always have the right answer to get the message across to moody, hormone driven children…
me – the student – where the intellectual world and scientific inquiry takes precedence over anything and everything else.
me – the pastor’s wife – again, with all the answers, supposed to be a mature, wise person – solid Christian – never doubt, always know where God is leading, spiritual things always at the forefront of every thought and decision
me – the wife – I really suck at this one. My husband’s needs should come before mine, I should be attentive to what he needs and jump to help him, take off all the burden I can… which I agree, were I a good wife I would be better at seeing these things. The problem is, I find myself so buried, I don’t see through my pile of crap to see what I could do for the rest of my family.
But really… it all drowns out ME.
Sadly – I’m not sure who that is, who I want it to be or how I would go about finding her.
What do I want? OK, wrong question… What does God want from me? See, I *know* the right question – I’m just not always sure it is the question I WANT to ask. At the very least, I’m not sure I want to hear and abide by the answer. Pretty much I’m selfish. I want what I want – and yes, I want it now. Oh yeah, but I’m not even sure what it is I want…
Well if this isn’t a circular, random, pointless post. Point or no, it is what it is.
Here is my song… still trying to figure it out, but I can really relate to the song…
Filed under: random
I know I’m not a teenager – but I have one (almost two!) and I do love country music. That said – I really enjoy Taylor Swift’s music – it is nostalgic for me, where for my daughter I’m sure it is more “here and now” type stuff! Anyway, regardless of that… did you see or hear about this: Taylor Swift’s award presentation
How incredibly rude is that? Even if I had agreed (I probably don’t, but I haven’t seen either video) that kind of behavior is just mean. I saw Jay Leno last night when the guy tried to apologize, so I had to go look up the actual event to see what happened. Very cool of Beyonce to call Taylor Swift back up later on.
Filed under: random
As I type this from my chair in my nice, warm living room my daughter is at the first varsity football game of the season. The original plan was for us to all go. Tom is sick so he didn’t go. Josh and I went for the first half… but at the end of the first half we were winning 38-0… our guys were playing well, but that isn’t the most exciting kind of game to watch. Mitchie was off hanging out with her friends – ’cause that is what 13 year olds do… Yes, one was a boy… J was kind of bored and I was cold and damp, so we left at half time. It is amazing, though, how sitting in the stands watching a football game on a Friday night can make you feel 16 again. Hopefully we will start going to the football games – I think that would be fun!
Speaking of sports… I was looking through archives recently and found this email that was sent to me by my oldest brother’s soccer coach (this man coached him all through elementary & high school). It is an awesome story – a reminder that God has us in places we wouldn’t necessarily have put ourselves for a reason… it may take years before we find out why, or we may never know – it may be for us, or it may be for other people, but there is a reason… I wonder if Mr. W has any idea the mark he left on the lives of all those boys he coached?
quoted from the email:
…Brings back memories of years of coaching. It may seem far-fetched that something like that could really happen, but I can tell you from a dozen years of coaching youth sports that, it happens every day. The important lesson for kids to learn at this level is that, if you give it your best, God will place opportunities in your path. For me, coaching was an
opportunity. I resisted it at first, then realized that God will give
us strength equal to the task, rather than tasks equal to our strength. So, never having been a team-sport player myself, I took on the job. I wouldn’t have made it through the first practice without God’s instruction.Twelve years went by, and it was time for me to move on to another assignment. After I retired from coaching, I became ill. The doctors said I wouldn’t be getting any better. A lot of people prayed for me. The doctors started downgrading my condition from “disease” to “syndrome”, then to “symptom”, and finally to “condition”. I went back to thank all the folks who were praying for me, and I realized that this army of prayer warriors had one thing in common: they had children who played on that first little soccer team. God’s plan had come full circle. The deck was stacked, and the game was fixed 12 years before the game started.
Filed under: random
These are not among them…
I was reading a blog I frequent and she mentioned a post she had seen which prompted her to write a post on similar lines… and of course, is the inspiration for THIS post! Think of all the strange things that come out of your mouth as a parent directed towards your children that are totally bizarre and possibly completely, ridiculously inappropriate for social conversations and yet come flying out of a mother’s mouth on a daily basis!
To allow you to enjoy the inspiration, check out these links…
Please do not poop on your batman cape
Out of the mouths of moms
My list? Sadly I’ve forgotten more than I remember, but here are a few…
NO – you don’t need to wash the sand out of your towels in the river!
No, sissy doesn’t have one. She never had one. No, it didn’t fall off. No, she didn’t cut it off.
Boys have them, girls don’t… no you won’t grow one!
Why do you have balloons in your shirt? Oh… but you won’t have 3, only 2.
I know there are thousands of others, and I know they still happen… I just don’t retain that stuff very well!! Oh well…
Filed under: random
ROMEO AND JULIET lyrics KILLERS [Dire Straits cover] A lovestruck Romeo, sings the streets of serenade Laying everybody low with a love song that he made Find a streetlight, steps out of the shade Says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?" Juliet says, "Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack" He's underneath the window, she's singing Hey, la, my boyfriend's back" You shouldn't come around here, singing up at people like that Anyway what you gonna do about it? Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start And I bet and you exploded in my heart And I forget, I forget the movie song When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet? Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same And I dream your dream for you and now your dream is real How can you look at me, as if I was just another one of your deals? Well, you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin Now you just say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him" Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry I said, "I love you like the stars above, "I love you till I die" There's a place for us, you know the movie song When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet? I can't do the talk like the talk on the TV And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be I can't do everything but I'd do anything for you Can't do anything except be in love with you And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be All I do is keep the beat, the bad company And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of a rhyme Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry You said, "I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die" There's a place for us, you know the movie song When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet? A lovestruck Romeo, he sings the streets of serenade Laying everybody low with a love song that he made Find a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade He says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?" LyricsBay | ROMEO AND JULIET lyrics KILLERS
I was thinking of something earlier, and I just decided that my own little boggy world is the perfect place to flesh it out – explore it – share it… So – if you are reading this, you are now held captive to the workings of my brain… but just for a few paragraphs.
Due to the holiday weekend many of our church members were out of town – it was a pretty light crowd today. One of those who was out was our organist, which meant the music fell to me. I set up the song service – I liked it, but I’m not so sure it did much for this church, but that is beside the point. One of the songs we did – the first one as a matter of fact – was America the Beautiful. One of the verses goes like this:
O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!
Wow. One hundred years ago – self control was associated with our freedom and way of life.
today
One hundred years later…
Self control is not part of our national fabric. That lack of self control on the part of citizens and elected officials has put us in the position of being in debt to the tune of more money that I can begin to comprehend. Yet – there doesn’t seem to be any inkling that the duely elected officials have any trouble with the murky, deep waters into which they have plunged us.
“The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.” (Proverbs 22:7)
Who are we enslaved to? Do we know? Do we care? If we are in debt, someone holds that debt. What happens if that debt is called? Well – if the mortgage company calls your debt and you don’t pay – you lose your house. If the loan shark comes calling I guess you lose your health and general well being… What about nationally?
I grew up thinking this was the greatest place in the world. Why would anyone want to live anywhere else? Honestly, I still think that – but the distinction is blurred more all the time. Are we – like so many other great empires – destined to destroy ourselves from the inside? Have we sold our birthright for a pot of porridge? We’ve been bought. The reigns of power are still in our hands, but only because they are allowed to be.
How did we let ourselves end up here? Is it too late to change it? I hope not. I truly believe this country still has the character and integrity that has made it a beacon on a hill for so many years. The light may just need to be recharged – maybe changed, or dusted off. But the light is still there…
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
The lamp still shines, the door is still open… don’t let greed close it.
Welllll… we have been planning a couple of trips north for a few months… and by planning I mean, we knew we were going. One date is next weekend, the other is 2 weeks after that.
Sooo… my original plan was: go up to ABay Friday afternoon with kids and hubby in tow, camp for the weekend, hubby would go home Sunday and the kids and I stay up there for the week with a friend. Then I would come home that weekend, be here with hubby for the week and we would both go up the next weekend (25th/26th). All of that was well and good until a meeting I had last week changed things – a lot. Then I started thinking I couldn’t afford to be away from work for that long … afford as in – I’m in a race to get this project somewhere and get it published before someone else does 
I talked to my mentor and he agreed that I shouldn’t. Then he calls me back into his office and asks if I could just take a the first part of the week off… Sweet… that won’t put me so far behind, but I can still go up for a while. I like it.
Yesterday it suddenly occurs to me… we are planning to go on ‘vacation’ to tourist trap heaven and we are planning to camp… but I, being the procrastinator I am, totally forgot to make reservations at the campground!!! Oops.
So this afternoon I was hunting like mad to find a place we could stay. The 2 campgrounds that were my first choices were booked solid. Too bad. Thankfully, however, I was able to reserve a site at a campground not too far away. So I reserved the campsite for this weekend/beginning of the week next week and for the weekend 2 weeks after. So – I paid for 7 nights at the campground today… ouch #1!!
THEN – J and I went through the camping gear and wrote a list of what we needed… sleeping bags (kids outgrew their old kid bags and needed adult sized bags), air matresses (it may be a disgrace to my bro, but I am not a good camper – I’d really like a hard bodied trailer, but since I have to do tents, I need air matresses – and Mitchie girl is right there with me!), a separate tent for the kids (again – they grew, the 4 of us no longer fit comfortably in the tent we have) and other odds and ends. The checkout counter was ouch #2!
I do, however, think we now have what we need. I just have to figure out what we are going to eat… has to be easy stuff… Any ideas?
So, I’ve mentioned before that my children are totally brilliant and beautiful and … yeah, you know the drill, right?
Their final report cards for the year came in the mail today. Both of them did very well… high honors for both! Josh also got his year end report from the Horizons program (gifted ed program here) and it was all good, too 
Dh and I had to laugh at the comment section… “his enthusiasm is boundless!” We decided that was a nice way of saying he never stops thinking and he never shuts up 
I am sooooo thankful these two kids are such good students! They love school, they are smart kids and they would be embarassed to not have the grades they have.
Do you know… these 2 are going into 7th and 8th grades and in the years they have been in school I have never – and by never I mean I may have once or twice but I really don’t remember it so never – had to tell them to go do their homework. I remember my mother threatening us within an inch of our lives and STILL we didn’t do homework. Who are these children of mine who love school and excel out of their own desire???? I am so spoiled with that – and I know it!
Starting in the fall we will have a football player and a soccer player – sports will start up full steam. I will have a 7th grader and an 8th grader both in 9th grade algebra.
For the summer… they are just bumming around! I leave a list in the morning for them to do, they get it done and have the rest of the day free to do what they please – as long as we know where they are and who they are with. Not really a bad life, huh? Sleeping in until 10 or 11… Oh how I want to do that!
OK, ending my kid post – it turned into a kind of random, not very cohesive bunch of thoughts, but oh well.
Here is where I find out whether anyone reads this baby…
Do any of you go along doing whatever you do and suddenly get hit with someone doing something that just makes you feel like you are completely inadequate at life? The funny thing is, to think it through ratioinally – it makes no sense. We all know that we have strengths and weaknesses and that different “seasons” in life require different things from us – we know that, right? So why is it so easy to get knocked down by seeing someone else do something so well?
What? You need an example? OK, how about 2 – from the 2 major places I’ve been in my life…
Most recently… I think technically I’m a professional – at this point, I’m a professional student, but regardless… I work long, strange hours, I am not home as often as I wish I was, I always (and I mean always) have more work that needs to be done/should be done and I no longer do much of any housework or cooking. I like to think I’m good at what I do – and that I have potential to be very good at what I want to do, but there are still the things I no longer do – that I traded.
Now, I was never June Cleaver, but I did real grocery shopping on a budget and I baked and our meals were homemade, healthy and budget friendly. Sometimes I kept a clean house and sometimes I had the laundry done. However, I always was with the kiddos… I was the taxi – for them and all their closest friends They could take part in whatever activities they wanted because I was around to drive them. We spent a lot of time together – I knew everything, I knew their friends, I talked to their friends parents, I chaperoned school trips…
Back then I would look at women who had successful careers and feel like I was doing nothing. Like I had no purpose. Why couldn’t I be the one with the job. That was my big “please don’t compare me to her because I can’t match that”.
totally inadequate.
that was me… I was being a mom and student, but those things could wipe me out.
Now, I’m doing the professional thing – well, in training for it anyway (grad school). I no longer even pretend to cook or keep house. I try hard to get to my kids ballgames – for the first time ever this year I missed more games than I made That made me sad. I get up and leave, I come home and sleep. I no longer have time to chaperone or volunteer, I don’t bake wonderful things and I wouldn’t know most of my kids’ friends’ parents if they introduced themselves to me. And today I read a blog post from a friend of mine… http://peaceinthepandemonium.blogspot.com/2009/06/monday-at-vestrands.html
Ahhhh… I love what I do. I really want to go where it will take me. However I surprise myself with how much I miss the kid thing. Why is it so hard to be content? Is this why Paul was so specific as to say “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.”?? I think that is the equivalent of us saying don’t live in a dream world… live the life you have.
